The Most MisUsed Word In The Universe (cont)

Love as it Pertains to Parents and Children
The definitions of giver and receiver apply here in a way that is easy to identify. Parents are naturally givers and children receivers. this is totally understandable as a baby needs constant care and nurturing in order to simply survive. Ideally a parent understands this and dedicates his or her life to the fulfillment of the needs of the young child. As the child grows, there should be a gradual adjustment to these roles. The child becomes more of a giver and the parent by allowing the healthy growth of the young person more of a receiver. Many parents have a really hard time with this natural progression. They either don't like the idea of the child growing up or can't wait for that to happen. The parent who does not want the child to grow will create a dependent or frustrated young person by stunting the natural need of the individual to take responsibility and give back to the parent. These children may get the impression that everyone in their world is like the parent and develop have a sense of entitlement. They have a really hard time when the inevitable happens and everyone does not worship at the feet of the entitled child. This parent has exhibited "need" by putting what their emotional comfort demanded and therefore deprived their child of important tools that are needed in order to live a balanced life. On the other side, some parents are full blown receivers. These parents want full independence from their children long before the child is ready to handle it. Products of this type of parenting are sometimes referred to as "corner babies". The neglect ranges from the parent being unavailable emotionally to downright endangering the life of the child. Both types of parents are selfish and will at the least put obstacles in the path of their children which will impair their ability to live a balanced and happy life. Again we see the "need" of these parents taking center stage. Ideally we would like to see parents who nurture kids and also have the ability to let go at the right time to allow the development of a well balanced individual. Love is a tough ticket to find!

The Most MisUsed Word In The Universe

It has always been fascinating to hear folks talk about being in "Love". For most of my life, in fact since I can remember thinking about it I have truly believed that Love between adults in a romantic way does not actually exist at all. A more accurate word would be "need" in most cases. At the very least a definition should be provided in order to explore the possibility of this type of love's existence. The following is an attempt to do just that.
Love as it Pertains to Adult Relationships
We will define love, for the sake of this conversation  (even if Mr Webster does not agree) as caring for another more than one cares for one's self. When in love a person does everything in his or her power to insure the happiness, safety, health, prosperity and general well being of their "loved" one. Usually this takes shape as one partner giving and one receiving the care and nurturing. The one who receives is most often the one who "needs" to be cheered up, comforted, excused and forgiven for selfish and bad behavior on a regular basis. The one attempting to provide all of this "love" is most often the one who "needs" to feel like they are giving and compassionate. This scenario is prevalent in our society and shows how unbalanced the typical relationship is. Is it any wonder most of these relationships eventually fail horribly? The receiver will continue to become more dependent on the "love" provided for them while the giver will grow weary and at some point ask "when is it your turn" to give? This will invariably lead to resentment and unhappiness. Both actually "need" the other to mask some emotional scars! On paper the love between two adults is how we should bring people together who can use each other's strengths to accentuate life and overcome obstacles as well as weaknesses. By working together, this couple could live a symbiotic existence and become far greater joined than they ever could alone. Only two well balanced individuals can accomplish this. 
When we "need" we have an almost impossible time giving.  The giver by contrast finds it difficult to accept!  Sometimes for the giver it is as simple as letting your partner do things for you that as an independent person you have a hard time letting go of. On the flip side, as the receiver you may have to face fears you never had before and give in once in a while, give to the giver so to speak.  This is the path to balance which is critical in all things, especially in relationships.  This sort of balanced life proves difficult for most couples and dooms most relationships. Needy partners may say "you know I love you" when that is the exact thing the giver is looking for actual evidence of. The other one says "prove it" and neither one knows how to give the other what they need now! Need! Remember that word. If two givers try to get together they will jump all over one another trying to be the one who helps the most. It almost becomes a contest to see who needs the least! If two receivers get together they will always be jumping lower and lower on the emotional scale so their partner will certainly realize that they could not possibly be expected to give in, at least not while (insert current crisis) is going on. Most "professional" receivers are prepared to defend their position with a litany of diagnosis and testimonials proving their inability to contribute.  The "master" giver will use many methods to insure they are doing everything themselves.  These types of actions separate rather than unite!  Most relationships are between one giver and one receiver. We have all heard how "opposites attract". It is fairly to see why this holds true for the majority of people.
So what is the answer? Well if knowledge is power then the realization that love is actually need and that both parties have to be part receiver and part giver, coupled with the fact that only one of these will come naturally to each of them can lead a couple onto the right track. Just like if one arm is weak and one is strong, a person needs to work on the weak one all of the time in order to achieve balance, so the receiver needs to constantly work on giving and the giver on being a more gracious receiver in order to achieve a balance in their relationship. Simple formula but not a simple task!